The Mercenary’s Cookbook

Some of you may remember that the alien from the Weekly World News had a better record of endorsing Presidents than most political pundits. Now that the tabloid has shut down, the Kentucky Derby might be angling to fill those shoes. Hillary Clinton couldn’t be there this year, so at a campaign appearance, she told the crowd to place a bet on the 20-to-1 long shot, Eight-Belles, the only filly in the race. So how’d that work out for her?:

Hillary Clinton’s pick to win the Kentucky Derby this year came in second, but was later euthanized on the track. The tragic moment at Churchill Downs cast an eerie spell over the campaign and the candidate who recently compared herself and her candidacy to the only female horse running in the race, Eight Belles.

The kicker is, the filly came from behind and fought her way to the second spot before breaking both her front legs.

Kevin Drum and Digby are not amused.

The soldiers in Iraq couldn’t be there either, so the Kentucky Derby had to come to them.

First Lt. Jessicah Garrett, of the Kentucky National Guard 138th Fires Brigade, was charged with bringing the Kentucky Derby to Iraq — and she was holding steadfast to the famed sporting event’s traditions. There was Derby Pie and Bourbon Balls and even Mint Juleps — the kind made out of Mojito mix and 7-Up — but the pinnacle of Saturday’s festivities were the mock horse races.

___________________

Soldiers running in the race not only braved the dessert [sic] sun and dust, they had to gallop around a track for 5 minutes — with a make believe horse no less. These horses were made out of anything from socks and towels to brown paper bags attached to pieces of wood. One racer even had a horse fashioned out of a cartoon cut-out of a donkey.

There’s a metaphor there somewhere.

Maori extremists protest New Zealand’s anti-terror laws — where is Obama?

First, we needed to get rid of Iraq’s WMD. Once we made sure the country was free of those, we needed to occupy the country to liberate them. Then we had to round up all the Iraqis to interrogate them so we could keep the peace. Once we destroyed the terrorist networks, we were the only thing keeping Al Qaeda out, and we couldn’t just up and leave after that with Al Qaeda causing trouble everywhere.

Around this time, all hell had broken loose, and we were the glue holding everything together, and so many people had died we didn’t want them to die in vain.

Remember, a civil war was possible, and once that crisis had passed, we found ourselves the only thing maintaining order during Baghdad’s transition into ethnic enclaves, and we had a moral obligation to prevent an ethnic cleansing.

With so much at stake in such a vital region, it would be devastating to our national interests if we let things deteriorate. After all, we’re the only thing preventing Iran from influencing the Iraqi government, but now that they appear to be backing the Iraqi coalition, we need to give the Iraqi government the breathing room to set up a government, and give the disbanded Iraqi army time to organize, so they can take over security without the country erupting into chaos.

So the only thing we have left to do before we withdraw is to continue fighting until we win the war, so we can maintain a military presence for the next 100 years.